Children can be quite particular about what they do and do not want.
Their demands are made clear, every day in toyshops around the world.
It all started simply enough. Toby was in the toyshop and wanted bubblegum. Mum said no, because it was nearly dinnertime.
'And that's that" said mum cryptically.
But 'that wasn't that. Toby wanted bubblegum and he told her so.
Melissa was two years older than Toby, so practically an adult. She gave him all the wisdom of an eight year old sister wrapped in one bittersweet retort, declaring with authority, "You never eat your dinner after eating sweets Toby, you know you don't."
She shouldn't have said that. Even Melissa agreed, long afterwards, when the fire engines had left and the last of the ambulances had sped away with sirens blazing. The bedraggled SWAT team sifted through the ruins of the toyshop looking for evidence, and interviewed everyone left at the scene.
After talking with Melissa they agreed shook their heads. "You shouldn't have said that."
Toby had turned purple. It wasn't even the bubblegum he was so upset about, though he did enjoy watching it helter-skelter around the dispenser before eating it.
He felt deprived, and angry. "Melissa got one and I didn't" he lied to anyone who would listen. "It's not fair, she always gets what she wants."
It should have ended there as well. A quick rebuke, exit left and a rapid retreat home.
A spot of 'Time-Out' and all would have been well.
Sadly mum and Dad were having a 'bad day.' A wailing cat needing to be let out at 3am, an early morning tiff over who forgot to put the smelly bin out for the bin man to collect and the howling of a lonely new puppy locked in the laundry all night 'to get used to being alone' had fragmented an otherwise long-term loving relationship.
Toby's whining hit all the buttons at the same time, like finger nails and forks racing backwards down a blackboard. Other customers and staff felt it coming, held hands and dived for cover behind the Lego shelf.
"Just shut up Toby and get in the bloody car!" screamed mum.
"Now!" threatened Dad.
In the short silence that followed several witnesses said they heard the universe whisper "Uh oh" before reconciling itself to a another Big Bang.
It was unfortunate (as so called naturally disasters often are) that Toby should have been standing next to a row of cricket bats. His timing was sharp, and he'd spent hours at home perfecting his off-cuts, drives and slog shots under the proud parental eye of his loving dad.
Being a young Australian he had already taken immense pride in pretending to smack the English bowlers all over the British Isles.
For now Toby had just one aim. He wanted a packet of bubblegum.
His first swing of the bat shattered the dispenser and was accompanied by a word. The word was "GIVE'.
His second shot took out the stand the dispenser had been sitting on, sending hundreds of packets of bubblegum flying around the shop while Toby added "ME" to his increasing verbal demands.
It was an act of love, understanding and dawning horror that sent dad racing towards Toby. Good timing is such an important component in these interceptions, and dad didn't have any.
The word "MY" was drowned out by a loud crack and scream as willow hit kneecap and dad flew into a shelf stacked with several hundred boxes of Lego.
The domino effect is a captivating sight especially on a scale such as this, and even Toby stopped in mid stride while gathering up pockets full of bubblegum off the floor. The crashing, smashing explosion of sound and sparks lit up Toby's favourite shop and he let out a long 'Oooooh" before returning to his rich pickings.
Plugs shot out of walls, sparks flew, toys were scattered and broken across the shop, customers crawled, staggered or lay moaning while small fires ignited and the shop's sprinkler system burst into action. Alarms went off, looting broke out as some opportunist customers regathered their wits and Toby learned hundreds of new interesting words to try out later.
A place called Bedlam existed in London around the time of the Great Fire. It was a place where lunatics were rounded up and kept in appalling conditions, screaming and fighting each other in what society described as 'hell on earth'.
This was Bedlam.
Toby's voice rang out above the chaos, "NOW GIVE ME MY BUBBLEGUM?!"
The aftermath is always traumatic. People wandered dazed and confused through the wreckage, Emergency Services restored calm where they could and police installed a sniper on the opposite roof; "just in case."
No one died, which was a blessing newsreaders went on about for days, but some emotional scars remain forever. Toby and his six-year-old tantrum were sent to bed early without dinner, which was fine by him because all the dinners he needed were still in his pockets.
Mum and Dad were at the police station filling in lengthy statements and talking to lawyers.
Melissa sat at the hospital bedside of her grandmother, whose heart had temporarily stopped at seeing her entire family being dragged yelling, swearing and struggling out of a blazing toyshop. Melissa held her hand and whispered soothingly, 'It wasn't my fault grandma, it was Toby's."
Saying no for the sake of it so as to not set a precedent, demonstrates a rigid insensitivity to another's immediate needs
Sometimes it's best just to let them have the bubblegum, and hang the consequences.
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